SAY NO
Learning how to say "no" is a powerful skill.
Saying “no”
is not an easy thing to do, but that’s where the strength of character and mind come into play.
Saying “yes”
when we mean “no” is a recipe for overwhelm and exhaustion.
As children, we are often taught how to say yes to just about everything. However, rarely are we taught how to effectively say “no” to things that are not in our best interests.
Many of us frequently say “yes” to invitations, favors, and requests in order to avoid the difficulty and discomfort of saying “no,” according to the research of Columbia psychologists Francis Flynn and Vanessa Lake
In fact, the brain has a difficult time saying no especially when the circumstances are perfect for the asking party.
The ability to say no, is one that needs to be taught more often and reinforced in our children’s minds; Not because “no” implies a loss of opportunity, but because it can save us from doing things we are not convinced of.
THE FEAR OF SAYING “NO”
Low on self-confidence
People with low self-esteem very often have a lack of assertiveness and think they have to meet the expectations of everyone. It is very hard for them to set limits with others. They sometimes feel ashamed or guilty if they would say NO. But to do things against your will and possibilities will end up in feeling used and resentful.
Fear of Rejection
"No" is a rejection. Neuroscience has shown our brains have a greater reaction to the negative than to the positive. “Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself” ~Sonya Parker
Being a People Pleaser
Meet everyone else's needs before our own best interests or even self comfort is the ultimate energy drainer and the main source of disappointment as people will never treat us the way we do. In order to move forward and stop time consuming, we need to decide not to be vulnerable to these scheduled attacks. Pleasing others is a give and take relation, if this is not the case, then it is time to say “NO”. |
